I think you will be able to agree with me. We are living in a super hyper interconnected world, but every day is more common, more current and more normal to notice people outside of their true selves, being disconnected with them and the world, regardless of the sphere hey relate to. This lack of true connection is clear.
This is so common, that we notice how people take “hard” on themselves, are too critical of them and others. If a bad day happens, they punish themselves for not doing better; more days go by, and it comes others bad days, and they continue to punish themselves for not being able to react in another way and when, suddenly, in some way the situation is solved, they are still able to continue punishing themselves for having punished themselves in the first instance. And this cycle does not end. In summary, this makes them slaves and miserable from their own thoughts, from this prison of punishment and destructive judgment – never satisfied. But the truth, for most of these cases, is that these people addicted to this destructive cycle do not really care about themselves. And this lack of caring can show itself in different ways: how they choose their food, how they take care yourself, how they care about or express (or do not express) who they are, what career they choose, and how they really feel, and they treat others every day. And much of this is crucially connected with what is inside of you, for these people just cannot or have not learned to allow themselves to be. They have not yet learned to give credit to themselves, to have true and genuine self-love. And let’s make it clear that we are talking here about self-love and not “self-ego-love”.
I believe that we should love ourselves with genuine self-love, the one that confers to be the love of an integral character: loving both his own body, his own soul, and his spirit. We must know how to love ourselves in our TOTALITY!
To have this deep love and care is to recognize and feel that you are graced by the gift of being able to live this life. This life is yours! And for me, the master key to loving yourself more is to know how to revere life. Feel deep gratitude for the life you have, and for the person you really are! However, even though it is so simple, it is often difficult to see this attitude in many people’s lives, since there are always more people who appear to be in better condition than you: either because they have the most modern car, the “money, money”, or amazing job, or because they are brilliant with their minds, or even because they appear so wonderful on Instagram or Facebook, or even because they have the so dreamed and incredible relationship that you have been dreamed … but I can say, there will always be someone who might be in some life’s pillar better than you, but there also people on worse situation/circumstances than you !!! So, the comparison never brings something good: either it takes you to your higher ego side, or it knocks you down making you feel miserable, as if something is missing. Let me tell you something, it’s very easy for the mind to start comparing itself to other people and to feel inadequate, dissatisfied, and bad about ourselves. But, we must stop and begin to remove such comparisons; I mean, removing the others from the equation and moving on to truly look at ourselves. Have the courage to bring down our stupid thoughts, make new choices / attitudes, leaving behind old habits that do not help us to mature.
Allow yourself to have the deep reverence, appreciation, enthusiasm you can feel for your own life. Because it is precisely from this place that true love begins, its true connection. Taking this as a starting point, everything can be reversed and / or multiplied positively.
Okay, great, but how do we do it in a way that we do not become selfish, self-centered?
I suggest you try these three things:
# 1: Have a vision about yourself (and be congruent with it).
We feel deep gratitude and a sense of esteem and connection when we are congruent with the best of ourselves. Define who you want to be and align your actions with that vision. Know that we will never be perfect, but to be better each day, aligned with the vision you have of yourself, it advances progressively, increasing our feeling of gratitude for life and connection with our “I”.
# 2: Give credit to yourself.
Sometimes, the way to love ourselves more is to start small. Give yourself credit for the small steps you took. People in general have the habit of being very critical of themselves. I’ve been through this “valley” already. I tell you one thing, if you possess with a caring, generous heart, and continue to do good to people, please give yourself credit! If you have a passion, a calling, and it has not yet been fulfilled or even is not unfolding as planned, but your inner being, your “being” still burns for it, and still work diligently on it, please give credit to yourself! Or, if the case is that someone distracted you, or pre-judged wrongly, whether in the professional or personal sphere, and you remain faithful, giving your best, following your life. Please, give yourself credit!
Often, a way of loving yourself is to recognize the extraordinary power we have and the strength we have in continuing to believe that things will get better. Because when we keep believing in ourselves, with faith, in God, believing in the universe, in life; this kind of person does not get hurt easily and if they do, they become much stronger because those people who give themselves the deserved credit, they really know if they love and know that difficult times are only to be stoned and to be guided to a new level of love relationship with themselves and the world. There is no shortcut to it. If you do not learn to give yourself credit, no one can give you credit. And wherever you go, there you will be with! So, love yourself giving yourself the right and deserved credit!!
# 3: Look at your choices, even if they are small.
There are things you do, and there are things you choose not to do that make you a good person.
Take notice of both! I quote some examples:
Note if you did not choose to be an “jerk” today when everyone was with you for whatever reason; note when you chose not to scream when you were aggressively offended; or, notice that you did not give up, when all circumstances pressed you for it!
This, know how to see the small things you do or choose not to do to be your best person. Do not just appreciate the great achievements. Small ones are just as important. Because it is good to recognize the good side of the little things, the details in our life; this increases love for oneself. It is, of course, that we will always have points / aspects in our life that we do not like very much.
Sometimes we can be led by people who are not good leaders, or who do not value and work the differences on their team, penalizing rather than leading; or even come up against situations, mass jobs, but these circumstances only help us to stone ourselves to a new and better level of our lives. We should not expect that life will always be perfect. For real, nothing is perfect, this is not the purpose. The goal here is to be deeply connected with the “true self,” increasingly believing and giving credit to oneself, and each day, more and more, showing your unique self to the world.
If we begin with these steps, we will love each other more and more, and make a difference wherever we are. Start today, from you!
Português